Senator Spent Entire Day Thinking About Your Stimulus Check Request, Truly It Touched Him, It Did

WASHINGTON D. C. - Facing unprecedented economic uncertainty in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, Americans have been feverishly writing their representatives in support of proposed legislation expanding coronavirus cash relief payments, resulting in one Senator directly addressing these letters with a statement that sounded eerily familiar to musical theater fans.

“Dear Constituents - Friends, I’ve spent the entire day thinking about your notes. Truly it touched me, it did, that you’d think of me as a leader,” noted the Senator. “Of course I was saddened to hear that the unemployment process has come off rather less well than you hoped. And yet I must say straight away that pleading to America’s legislature is hardly the solution - and even if it were, I cannot provide the money you request."

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